Buddha Belly

It’s true; my belly is not going to get any smaller until this baby comes out. In fact, just when I think it can’t get any bigger I’m proven wrong. Every morning I wake up only to see more and more of the bedroom walls disappear by my over bearing belly. In fact, It’s the first thing I say good morning to! Although I know it sounds like it, I’m not really complaining! It’s much better than before….When I was three to four months pregnant people just thought I was getting fat. My clients would beat around the bush and say “I can’t remember, do you have any kids?” In hopes that I would tell them I was either growing a little human, or just working on my summer beer belly. I had a client come up to me…literally, TOUCH my belly and say “Is that a baby belly!!???”  For the shock factor (muhhh haha) AND for her repercussions for touching my belly… I replied “umm, no?”  She was mortified….Now that I think about it I don’t think I have seen her since.  See, when your only a few months pregnant you don’t want ANY one touching your belly. Seriously, it’s like drinking several beers, having the “beer bloat” and someone coming up to you and shaking and or touching your belly. It’s not hard, nor round and it’s very daring in that time frame to ask any girl if she is expecting.  So if you’re pregnant in that time frame, have some fun with it. I promise you “the shock factor” makes those few months go by so fast and humorously. Is that mean?

So fast, that I’m finally in the third trimester and felling better knowing that my Buddha belly finally shows that there’s a baby in there! In comparison, is it good luck to rub a pregnant woman’s belly like it is a Buddha? I can’t go anywhere...every stranger wants to rub it. I may even start charging? Unless it gets me in a closer parking space, doors held open, or in front of the grocery line quicker….Seriously, here in Atlanta crosswalks mean absolutely NOTHING to people. I use to dodge cars all the time trying to walk into stores. Now, with my special Buddha belly people will leave skid marks at the cross walk only to stop in time and let me pass.  I’m to the point where I don’t feel like I have to look before crossing... Bad idea?

Aside from all this attention, my Husband shows no mercy. Last night he parked in the furthest parking spot miles away from the restaurant where we were eating.  His book “Pregnancy sucks for men” told him to make me walk ALL the time even if it meant parking far away. Once during this pregnancy, I had the worst tale bone pain ever and for some reason I decided to lay on the floor, when I finally felt the need to get up I asked for his help. He just laughed at me! I looked like a beached whale rolling around trying to find a way to get up. See, this is where my independence bites me in the ass! Normally I can get up on my own…as a matter of fact I can do most things on my own! (ha) So, when I actually need something I’m not taken seriously. But I do only joke; he shows me a lot of mercy even when I don’t deserve it! Unless it means doing something to make  sure the baby will come out faster. Hence, parking miles away. He's been so great to me. He even bought me this HUGE pregnancy pillow (that the book told him about) that I use every night and it really helps me sleep...he may regret it now though, its literally like the great wall of China between us....

This has been a fun and hilarious time for the both of us…we spent FOUR hours registering the other day. We looked like the most clueless inadequate parents ever. I spent most of those four hours laughing and trying to figure things out. I think we may have spent an hour trying to figure out the “easy collapsible” strollers. Let me tell you, those things are NOT easy. Plus they have these breaks on them that you have to manually take off to even make the stroller move. And move it did…right over Derek’s toes, several times.

Ill be sure to keep my few readers updated on our learning progress! Especially, you momma Kaiser. See, she wants me to update my blog EVERY day, like it’s a journal. When in reality I don’t have time to write every day nor am I that interesting and if I did write every day it would be totally boring for anyone to read. Trust me!So every now and then ill be sure to keep everyone posted with several weeks in one blog!

Sincerely,

Buddha Belly